Navy - Then and Now
Then - In the "good old
days", if a sailor smoked, he had an ashtray on your
Now - If a sailor smokes he/she is sent outside and
treated like a leper.
Then - Mail took weeks to arrive aboard the ship.
Now - Every time the
ship nears land, there's a mob topside seeing if their
cell phone works.
Then - If a sailor left
the ship it was in Blues or Whites.
Now - The only time they wear Blues or Whites is for
Then - Sailors wore bellbottoms everywhere on the ship.
Now - Bellbottoms are gone from the Navy. 14 year-old
girls wear them every where.
Then - Sailors wore a "dixie cup" all day, with every
Now - It's not required and they have a choice of
Then - If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed
and avoided you.
Now - If you say "damn" you'd better be talking about a
Then - The Ships Yeoman had a typewriter on his desk for
doing daily reports.
Now - Everyone has a computer with Internet access --
and they wonder why no work gets done.
Then - We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes
to remind us of home.
Now - We put the real thing in the cockpit.
Then - Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would
Now - She is on the same ship, praying that your condom
Then - If a sailor got drunk off duty, his buddies would
take him back to the ship to sleep it off.
Now - If a sailor gets drunk off duty, they slap him in
rehab and ruin his career.
Then - Canteens were made out of steel and you could
heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
Now - Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat them
because they'll melt, and anything inside always tastes
Then - The top officers were professional sailors first.
They commanded respect.
Now - The top officers are politicians first They beg
not to be given a wedgie.
Then - Enemy intelligence was collected and analyzed.
Now - The crew's urine is collected and analyzed.
Then - If a sailor didn't act correctly and obey the
rules, he'd be put you on extra duty until he squared
Now - If he doesn't behave a paper trail is started that
follows him forever.
Then - Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at
the risk of their own.
Now - Medals are awarded to people who show up for work
most of the time.
Then - The crew slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
Now - They sleep in a co-ed dormitory, like a college
Then - Sailors ate in a Mess Hall. The food was free and
they could generally eat their fill.
Now - They dine in a Dining Facility. Every item, even a
slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and they can only
have one serving.
Then - We defeated powerful countries like Germany and
Japan -- at the same time.
Now - We don't even try to beat Iraq.
Then - If a sailor wanted to relax, he went to the Rec
Center, played some pool, smoked, drank beer, and told
Now -They can go to a local Community Center and play
pool -- maybe.
Then - If a sailor wanted a couple beers and some social
conversation he could go to the EM club. Officers to the
"O" Club. A glass of beer was a quarter.
Now - The beer will cost two bucks and someone will be
watching to see how much he drinks.
Then - The Exchange had bargains for sailors who didn't
make much money.
Now - You can get better merchandise for a better price
at Wal-Mart and K-Mart.
Then - If an Admiral wanted to make a presentation, he
scribbled down some notes and a PN or YN spent an hour
or so, preparing the formal document.
Now - The Admiral has his entire staff spend days
preparing a complicated computer Power Point
Then - We called the enemy things like "Commie Bastards"
and "Dirty Reds" because we didn't like them.
Now - We call the enemy things like, "Opposing Forces",
and "Aggressors", so that we won't offend them.
Then - We declared victory when the enemy was dead and
all his things were broken.
Now - We declare victory when the enemy says he's sorry
and won't do it again.
Then - A commander would put his butt on the line to
protect his people.
Now - A commander will put his people on the line to
protect his butt.